The Finer Things In Life

Last week my mother and I went to C.E.'s (my brother) house to visit. Its only a 12 hour drive, so the conversation with my mother was lively and fun as we meandered down the long highways. Once we got there, it was late in the day so we just hung around C.E.'s house the rest of the night.

I had fun with my nieces and nephews and got to visit with my brother and his wife. During the course of the long weekend, we did a variety of things, played games, watched movies on his real home theater and did a little wandering around town.

Our conversation was about the upcoming holidays and what the family plans are going to be for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The siblings live so far apart we have to plan in advance to try to make it so we are together at least at one of those holidays. Then we some how got onto what we were all going to do on New Years Eve. To which mom said she always wanted to try some Russian Black Caviar. Every year she says she is going to do do it, but then never does.

C.E. spent quite a good amount of time in Russia some years ago working in the oil fields of Siberia. So he opens his refrigerator and pulls out a can of caviar. That's the can in the picture. He goes through a small disaster of trying to get it open because it seems the can opener he has does not do that type of can. Once open, everyone sniffed it and tasted it. My nine year old niece threw up when she tasted it. Eventually, the can was placed on the front porch for the enjoyment of cats and any other wild animals that would come along.

Don't get me wrong, the caviar was not spoiled. But, it certainly wasn't up to its famed quality and taste. Caviar is supposed to be one of the finest things a person can indulge in. C.E. bought many cans while he was in Russia, and that was the last one. He had been saving it for a special occasion. This was the occasion he was looking for. It has been in the refrigerator for nearly 12 years. Even though the can is made of metal, the moisture still leached out of the can. Some of the caviar had lost some of its color and the flavor was just plain fish. I'm quite certain that if the caviar had been eaten when it was fresh, or even canned within a reasonable amount of time it would have been delicious.

That's how life is for some people. They find the finer things in life but try to save them for something special. In the end, the finest part of the delicacy, day, or person fade and disappear before anyone gets to enjoy it. Sometimes saving things for a special occasion is the greatest waste of all. We should enjoy the special occasions as the opportunities arise. Taking my mother to see my brother wasn't just something a daughter does for her mother, it was a special occasion which I will treasure the rest of my life.

Traveling

It seems traveling has been my most frequent activity this summer, and I'm still not done. So far I have been to California, Florida, Louisiana, all over Texas, and Kansas is waiting for me. Some of the trips I have taken alone, two taken with co-workers, but the best ones have been taken with family or to visit family.

All through our lives we can make friends, and when necessary, we can make more friends. Not so with family. When they are gone, you can't get more. You have to enjoy them while you can. More importantly, I want to be someone they can enjoy and when I'm gone I hope they look back and say they enjoyed the time we spent together.

This post comes from my stay at my brother's house in Oklahoma. There aren't too many places in Oklahoma I would want to live, but his place is great. The house sits on a few acres surrounded by trees on the top of a heavily forested mountain. The front deck provides this picturesque view of the front yard, with a winding driveway to the road. The trees are close together so that the ground barely has sunlight. In contrast, when you look out over the back deck you can see Tulsa in the distance. There on the deck there is nothing to block your view of the countryside or the night sky. I'm miles away from the hustle of the city.

There's more to my enjoyment of being at my brother's house. He has four children still living at home. I am jealous because mine have all grown and gone. Its more than that. He has a peaceful home. There's no hurry to be any place. No agenda, hidden or otherwise. It's just a family filled place to be.

The trips with or to family always end too soon, but the trips for work take too long. In two days I will return home to yet another conference and then I have to start gearing up for school. The property needs to be readied for winter. Amongst all that, I still have one more trip. My daughter and grandson will join me to see my oldest son. In the end, I will have seen all my children and siblings and spent time with all the people who mean the most to me. I didn't accomplish all the tasks necessary to maintain the property or prepare for work in the fall. I guess I better work fast when I get home from my last fling, but what a great summer!

Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks are coming soon, to where should I travel?

First Born

This young man is my oldest child. He is 29 years old now, but I remember the day he was born as clearly as if it were yesterday. There was some concern about if we were going to survive. The things I learned that were important in life, most of them I learned from him.

He taught me how to love, how manage my time, and what was important. When he was born, evrything else paled in comparison to how precious he was. He became the central focus in my life. He will be a great husband and father if he should decide to take the plunge.

Birthdays

This is my first grandchild on the day he was born. He is fast approaching his first birthday. Of course I loved him before he was born, but the relationship between a child and his grandmother is special. Grandmas have the years of experience of raising their children in loving to use when loving their grandchildren. The old saying people don't know what they have until it's gone is most true when raising children. By the time you know what you have and what to do with them, they're gone! Flew the coop! There are no do-overs in childrearing. Children and grandchildren are special relationships that need special attention with a hearty serving of love mixed in there.

Every once in a while someone comes into your life which under normal circumstances you wouldn't even notice them, or be noticed by the other person. But like your child or grandchild, you instantly like them and quickly love them. From the very beginning it's a special relationship. Finding people like that is a rare gift in life. The relationship should be fostered and made stronger. There are no do-overs in friendships and romances. What you put into these relationships is just as important as what you put in to your family relationships.

What if people would apply as much love to all relationships as they do to their grandchildren? We would soon find there is less discontent among the people around us. Treat your boss with the respect and give your employer an honest day's work for the wages you agreed upon. Yes, you agreed for those wages when you accepted the job. That means doing your best at all times, be on time, and don't lie to him. The people who work with you deserve fairness too. That means you don't gossip at the water cooler about anyone. If you know a juicy bit of gossip, keep it to yourself. "If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all" works everywhere you go. Make sure to implement it at work!

There is no such thing as harmless gossip or idle conversation. One never knows how much they hurt people with the words they say. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never...." Something is wrong with that statement. The right way to say it would be, "Sticks and stones may break my bones and they will heal, but words cut again every time I remember them".

At the end of the day, when you practice treating all the people you encounter with love, respect and integrity, you will realize you are becoming a better person. You will become what you practiced. You will learn to love yourself. When that happens you will have a never ending supply of love to give.

Generations

This picture of four generations is one of my favorites. It includes my mother, my granddaughter, myself, and my son. This was the first time my mother and I saw the new baby. There is this empty space in my house that used to be my son's room. All his things are still there as well as some of his clothes. Its just like he left it, well, almost. When he and his wife came home for Christmas, it seemed almost the same, but not quite. She was six months pregnant and everyone was anticipating the arrival of the newest family member. Life had changed for all of us, but the fundamental things had not. My son is still the same loving and gentle young man who enjoyed being a volunteer fireman and a Longhorns fan. It was no surprise that he wanted to go into the Navy. It was no surprise he is a great husband and father. What caught me off guard was how much I would miss him once he went off to the Navy.

The Red Hat Society

We went to a local restaurant during an educators leadership training conference. Once inside, we couldn't help but notice this lovely group of ladies. Everyone of them was over 65 years of age and they were having a blast.

Their conversation was intense, although we weren't close enough to hear them. It got my imagination going as to what they could be talking about. For sure they had to be talking about their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Most likely they had other things in common like church or some community activities. And that got me to thinking about the ladies in my school who are members of the Red Hat Society.

Every year they show up wearing their purple clothes and red hats. They are always happy and interested in what is going on around them. Its like that red hat gives them a purpose for doing what ever it is they are doing. It was amazing to watch them.

One of them was a dear friend of mine. She put her arm around me, with a wink in her eye, and told me I could be a red hat in training. Trainees wear lavender clothes and pink hats because they are too young to be a red hat.

Its been a few years since that conversation took place. Watching those ladies sure made me stop and think about the women I work with every day in a different way. Who knows, maybe I will join the Red Hat Society .... when I'm old enough.

The Volunteer Firefighter

Of course, no day of firsts would be complete without this timeless picture of my youngest son. He is one of those all-man volunteer firemen, turned U. S. Navy. But, there was the day when I found him wearing my tiger paw slippers. It seems the floor was cold on that winter morning and my slippers were in plain sight. Those long hairy legs somehow didn't fit the profile of the intended wearer of those slippers. He was not pleased about this picture!

Sewing in a Flash

This is my daughter. It was a great day! I had returned home from an extended business trip the day before. She announced she was pregnant and wanted to have me make her one last dress before she was a mommy. It was to be her last fling at being mommy's girl. So, we shopped for fabric and I completed the dress that day. She modeled it for me, but didn't know I was going to be taking pictures. I might be her mom, but I think she is the most beautiful young woman in the world.

When Your Little Princess Becomes a Queen

It seems like it happened over night. One day I had this house full of kids in diapers and a seven year old playing with his trucks. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes early one morning, and they were all gone. The oldest one moved to another state and works as a truck driver. The next one is in the Navy, is married and has a little princess of his own. And my little princess, my youngest, recently married and has a little prince of her own.

I love my grandchildren. I don't think anyone can ever have grandchildren prettier or smarter than mine. But, still, when I come out of my room in the mornings and I don't hear requests for this or that, or at night their rooms are quiet and no one says, "Pat me mommy", it can be a bit hard to think about.